My dad gave our 2 month old English bulldog puppy a taste of strawberry Popsicle today. This is true happiness.
I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING
i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid
I threw a grape in the air
I went to catch it I swear
It hit a spider that fell
and now they’re on my face
look if you unironically say ‘money can’t buy happiness’ then either you’ve never faced a real financial struggle or you’ve achieved enlightenment, because goddamn does financial security feel an awful lot like happiness when it’s something you’re not used to
Kristen Bell: Sloth causes birthday meltdown.
I love her so much
I love this story every time I see it.
I hate it when netflix pauses and asks me if im still watching like yeah you actually think i got up and started doing something with my life
Step 1- Buy her pizza.
Step 2- Make her cum.